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about

This is a song about a friend who found love on the Internet. When she first registered on the on-line dating agency, Martha, (not her real name) lied on her Profile page. The man she met also lied on his Profile page.

When Martha found out she was so annoyed! They got it sorted out in the end but it was funny. This song is dedicated to anyone who has found love on the Internet.

lyrics

Martha

Meeting a bloke had become a joke
for Martha an old friend of mine.
She didn’t know how to catch a man now
at the tender age of 59
Then someone said,
they got a man into bed,
without wasting too much of their time
The agency,
that really helped me
was "Dating for us on Line"

She said "Oh oh.........." AND HE SAID "Oh oh.........."

Well she made the call
and in no time at all
She’d got her on-line profile made
She couldn't tell the truth
about her lack of youth,
her height and what she weighed

So just for fun
she said she was 41
and only 10 stone 2 still in her prime
she said five foot ten
there she went and lied again
To "Dating for us on Line"

She said "Oh oh.........." AND HE SAID "Oh oh.........."

Two weeks came and went
she tried not to resent
Why no one had emailed her to say "hello"
Then in her inbox come
a man who was 51
He sounded quiet alright, don't you know
Six foot four in height,
she wouldn't put up a fight
He liked eating out and good wine
She pressed reply
she'd give him a try
with "Dating for us on Line"

She said "Oh oh.........." AND HE SAID "Oh oh.........."

The agency knew
how to choose a rendezvous
all romantic, just beside the lake
and Martha wasn’t shy
and she hadn’t meant to lie
but she said
there must be some mistake
her date was there as well
with a rose in his lapel
but he was only 4 foot nine!
she was in disarray
she knew what she would say
To "Dating for us on Line"

She said "Oh oh.........." AND HE SAID "Oh oh.........."

Now she had to admit
that she had also lied a bit
And both of them were equally to blame
and standing in his suit
she thought that he looked cute
And going home would be such a shame
They went down the pub
sat down and had some grub
And Martha smiled as she sipped her wine
well she thanked the Lord
for she knew that she had scored –
With "Dating for us on Line"

She said "Oh oh.........." AND HE SAID "Oh oh.........."
She said "Oh oh.........." AND HE SAID "Oh oh.........."
She said "Oh oh.........." AND HE SAID "Oh oh.........."

credits

from When England Calls - (26 tracks), released January 3, 2012

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all rights reserved

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about

Bill Bates Royal Leamington Spa, UK

I am a Warwickshire based singer songwriter and I perform my songs in folk clubs and festivals. My songs are (almost) autobiographical and often about the ordinary things in life, such as caravan holidays, recycling and a song about a Mars Bar party (where people are supposed to have took their clothes off!) Some of my songs are funny, other songs are serious; either way I hope you like them! ... more

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